Brewonsouthu has obtained, through highly confidential sources, very reliable reports that SAE, at the corner of SouthU and Washtenaw has, by secret ballot taken last night, decided to proceed with plans to add Luxury Box seating to their famed Mudbowl.
The fraternity president, Rocco Ciccone (a graduate of Saginaw Arthur Hill, and, in fact, Madonna’s nephew), commented: “We just found — after we looked at it — we had to move ahead — it’s a matter of protecting our Brand. We’ve actually been hearing about it for years — faithful fans, asking things like, “Why do I have to get ….. splashed…… all morning long?” Or, “Isn’t there some way I can avoid getting all that… MUDDD all over my maize ‘Mum?” Or, “What if I’ve made arrangements to meet with the CEO of Ashley’s on the sidelines of the Mudbowl?”
Mr. Ciccone, in fact, referred us to the frat’s Director of Mud and Media, one Michigama T. Mandelman, for further background. Mr. Mandelman, who is named after his Chippewa great grandfather, and one great-grandfather from Minsk — both of whom pledged UM’s SAE back in 1906 — explained: “Look, we just weren’t paying attention to the whole thing, how dated the Mudbowl is, how we need to keep up a little. But late one Saturday night back in early September — the same weekend the Stadium had it’s rededication — I happened to open the back door at about 1 a.m. We had been partying hard, but — to tell you the truth — I felt like I was about to upchuck. So I go out back by the dumpsters, and this odd fellow with glasses and with a New York Yacht Club cap on — it had all those scrambled eggs — he’s leaning against the dumpster.
“Young fellow,” he says to me — and I’m thinking he wants a hit on my blunt. “Young fellow, let me give you three words: “Premium Seating. Mudbowl. ”
And he goes on for about a half hour. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise — and, as you might guess, whereas I’m Director of Mud and Media, I had a few females back in the chapter room I had to attend to. But I asked him if he wanted to do a bowl — the guy — he seemed kind of down and out, and he says — Well, sure, so we do a bowl, then he really lights up.
And he says, “Yo, dude, I got these architects out in Kansas City, Kalmann McKinnel and Wood, they owe me big-time — they did Michigan Stadium. And I turn to him, and I says to him, “Hey, waitaminut, are you f’__n shittin’ me? And he says, “Yea, that’s me. Bill Martin.” And he says, “Kalmann, they’ll do it all as a package.” So I told him, “We”ll get the package.” I thought I could get it through the chapter vote, but it took ’til last night.”
So it ends up, really, sort of the full-meal deal, Martin did it for us, and you can see from the photos that they rigged up, just how nice it’s gonna be. And look, we needed update. There were alot of changes we needed. And — bottom line? — we didn’t have the money to do it all, and they only way we could do it was with some big-time income from leases for the premium boxes and seating. That’ll get us the income. We’re gonna lease all of it, on an annual basis.”
When asked whether SAE had gotten any leasing commitments on the Lux Boxes, Mandelman said, “Geez, you wouldn’t believe it. This guy Martin, he got the UM Health Systems. He got the IBEW from Detroit! ConEd! I couldn’t f____’ believe it! He did all that in 24 hours. Says he can get all kinds of Contractors who worked on the Big House, I guess.”
So we’ve done it, with this fellow Martin’s help, in a way that’s tasteful, and maintains the brand. We’re extremely pleased.”
The timetable? They plan to have it all ready for Fall 2011. “We’ve got an aggressive plan, and we intend to meet it.”